Let’s talk about a mystery that’s plagued professional golf for years. No, not the secret to Scottie Scheffler’s short game - we’re talking about the grown adults who yell “GET IN THE HOLE!” on every tee shot, regardless of distance, club selection, or whether it's physically possible.
We get it. You’re at a PGA Tour event. You had a few $14 domestic beers. You’re feeling loose. But come on, man. A par 5 tee shot is not going in the hole. Not unless Bryson shows up with a rocket launcher.
Somehow, this weird tradition - if we can call it that - lives on. Every week, without fail, someone bellows a catchphrase like they’re trying to win a radio contest from 2009. “Mashed potatoes!” “Light the candle!” “Baba Booey!” It’s like golf’s very own dad-joke Olympics.
And sure, maybe the first time someone did it, it was a little funny. Maybe. But after a decade? It’s the equivalent of telling the same joke at every party and wondering why no one invites you back.
What’s wild is that this behavior wouldn’t fly at literally any other sport. Imagine yelling “GOAL!” every time a soccer player touches the ball. Or “TOUCHDOWN!” on a coin toss. It doesn’t make sense. It’s not witty. It’s just... loud.
More importantly - and here’s the real issue - it’s kind of disrespectful. Golf is built on sportsmanship, etiquette, and, yes, a healthy dose of quiet. Players are lining up tee shots under immense pressure, and the last thing they need is a guy three Michelob Ultras deep trying to go viral from the gallery.
At this point, you have to wonder: are these people truly golf fans? Or are they just there for the overpriced beer and an excuse to yell in public? If you're shouting “mashed potatoes” at a major championship, maybe it’s time to put the drink down, head home, and reflect on your choices. Possibly with a mirror. Possibly with a therapist.
Look, golf doesn’t need to be stuffy - we’re all for fun, energy, and growing the game. But let’s raise the bar just a tiny bit. If your contribution to the sport is yelling nonsense while a pro tries to split the fairway, maybe - just maybe - you're not helping.
So, when will the PGA finally ban hecklers? Probably never. But we can dream. Until then, we’ll just keep cringing from the couch every time “Get in the hole!” echoes through the airwaves... on a 602-yard hole.
TL;DR:
Golf is a gentleman’s game. Let’s leave the yelling to football and save the “mashed potatoes” for Thanksgiving dinner.
